Throw up ruined my REM cycle last night

I got woken up this morning at 3 am by William and Matthew, William had a stomach ache, and while climbing down the bunk bed he woke up his brother, great.  So I told them to get in bed with me, Andy was working graveyard so there was room, but it soon turned into William and I trying to convince Matthew to go back to his bed, and then I told him he could watch Blue's Clues in the living room.  Got him all set up and went back to bed, Blue's Clues is on the DVR so as soon as it was over he started yelling for me to put something else on, yeah that was a dumb idea, Matthew never goes back to sleep unless he is in bed with me, so I put on another recorded show and go back to bed again. I had just hit the pillow when William start puking off the side of the bed, really loudly and LOTS of it.  I can handle poop, blood and pee, throw up on the other hand, not so much.  Somehow it smelled like poop.  So I finally get it all cleaned up without tossing my own cookies and climb back into bed, it feels like I slept for 20 minutes when the baby woke up.  Andy needs to sleep so he can function at work.  I've just got to suck it up, its going to be a long day.....

Modern Medicine

Today I'm thankful for modern medicine, the baby has croup, he was up almost all night with a barky cough and wheezing, today I took him to the doctor, she said that he sounds good, but gave me a prescription for steroids in case it gets worse tonight.  We've dealt with the croup with Matthew and he's had to have breathing treatments every winter since he was born, I'm SO thankful that we live in a time that there are better ways to take care of babies and so much more that they can do to help them feel better.  Without modern medicine I know I wouldn't have my two youngest babies, either they wouldn't have survived or I would of died.  I feel SO blessed to have all 3 of my babies!!!

Having a "I'm a horrible mom", "I'm being punished for being a horrible child", BAD MOM day(s)

I want to strangle my oldest and he isn't even doing anything wrong!  Just everything he says and does rakes on my nerves!! What is wrong with me??  Then Matthew must be suffering from middle child syndrome or something because he is SO WHINEY, all the time!! At the gym, going into the daycare, he will usually whine about it but will be fine after a few minutes.  Today? NO, he laid on the floor just inside the door and would NOT move, he was still there an hour later when I came to get him.  The daycare lady said every time she tried to talk to him or move him he would cry, so she left him alone, I don't blame her.  And he is suddenly having TONS of potty accidents, what the heck?
I'm so tired, I should be in bed.  The baby will be up sooner than I want him to be, and I will regret staying up to "surf".