Yesterday I went to church for the first time in a month and a half, and because this weekend we celebrated Pioneer Day in Utah, the sister in charge of music yesterday did something with "Come, come ye Saints" and told a story while a beautiful piano rendition of the song was being played, and I just cried and cried, there is a line that says "And if I die before my journey's through, happy day, all is well." And she talked about that line asking why it would be a happy day to die, then explained that its about being ready to meet God, knowing that you're ready and worthy to meet him. Again, the water works wouldn't stop.
Then last night Andrew didn't go to sleep until midnight and then woke up at 3 and again at 5:30, William woke up at 7 and Matthew woke up at 8. So I'm tired, which makes me emotional. My family is going to Disneyland tomorrow and then coming back on Wednesday night, oh how I wish we could go. Then Andy's family is going camping at Yellowstone at the end of this week, again, I would love to go..... But camping in a tent with a newborn sounds about as much fun as getting your teeth pulled without anesthesia, that and I'm sure everyone would totally appreciate us being there with a screaming baby. Oh well, maybe next year.
Have I also mentioned how TINY our house now feels? I hate that we desperately need a new house and car, but that its not going to happen any time soon.... I can't help but think of the money that isn't mine because I chose not to have that one person in my life, sometimes life really is just a bowl full of rotten cherries.