I was placed on bedrest about 7 weeks before Matthew was born, in was a LONG 7 weeks, filled with fear, worry and a lot of insulin shots. We couldn't have done it without the help of my sweet sister-in-law who took care of William or the help of other family and neighbors/ward members that came by to check on me and cleaned my house every now and then..... I had high blood pressure and gestational diabetes.
Mom's just know sometimes, I had the shots to help his lungs, and I had a horrible allergic reaction to it, and when that happened I just knew. I knew he needed to be delivered and that it needed to happen NOW, I knew that something was going to be wrong with him, I knew that it was going to be rough. So when I showed up for my 36 week appointment (on a Wednesday) and my doctor told me we were going to deliver him asap, I wasn't surprised, I was anxious that because it wasn't life threatening I was scheduled to have him on Monday, then on Saturday we got a call telling us to come in the morning. I was SO worried, and when we showed up at the hospital the nurse kept telling me that I needed to calm down or I was going to have a heart attack or that they were going to knock me out for the surgery. I can't remember but I swear at one point my blood pressure was 170/100. Anyway, it was hanging out really high. I kept saying that I just needed to hear him cry and I would be okay. It was the roughest c-section out of the 3, I felt like there was a lot of moving back and forth, and they had to cut through a lot of scar tissue, and that they seemed to be taking their sweet time. Finally, he was out, and he cried, but I remember thinking it wasn't a very loud or as strong as William's was. Andy brought him to me, I kissed him on the head and the pediatrician asked Andy to follow her. And dread sunk in.
I told Andy not to let him out of his sight. A few hours went by and finally the decision was made that he needed to be transported to a different hospital because he wasn't breathing as well as he should be, again I told Andy to be with our son, they got Matthew ready for transport, I still had not held him at this point and had only seen him for all of 5 seconds, they brought him in the isolette so I could see him, and I couldn't sit up to really get a good look at him, then they wheeled him out of the room and William cried out, "please don't take our baby away!" and everyone's heart broke and the tears started falling. My doctor let me go see him the next day, but he was on a respirator, so all I could do was hold his toe, and cry and pray. My best friend had just had her baby 3 weeks earlier so she brought Abbi to the hospital so I could at least hold a baby while I couldn't hold my own.
He had golden red hair, my dad had red hair (not my biological dad) and my sister said it was dad's way of saying he was with us, I know he was. I was released the next morning and spent the next 3 weeks between home and the hospital, I didn't get to hold him until he was a week old. I felt so helpless and scared, and they kept telling us that he should've done better than he was doing, but it was like he needed to decide to do it on his own, which is exactly how he is now. You can't force him to do ANYTHING or he breaks down and cries!
He may always be a little bit delayed, but that's okay, he's Matthew and he's beautiful and wonderful, and his laugh and smile are the BEST things I've ever heard or seen, they are contagious! You can't help but feel happy when he's around. He's taught me patience and loving kindness. I hope he's always a mama's boy!!
|That's me trying to touch him before they took him in the ambulance.|
|I miss those chubby cheeks!!!|
|This picture makes him look chubby, he wasn't at this point|
|Pre-school graduation with Miss Tara!!!|