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Friday, January 29, 2010

I just can't think about it, I'm too emotional!

My heart is heavy and I've shed tears for someone that I've met once, for about 10 minutes. My friend's sister-in-law came with her to the shoe/jewelry party that I had in November, she had just found out that she was having a girl, and I had just found out that I was pregnant. She let me rub her belly in the hopes that I could rub some girl vibes from her belly to mine, we laughed about it. On Monday I noticed on Facebook that my friend was throwing a shower for her sister-in-law so I went to the event to see when she was due and saw a note from the girl's sister stating that they had lost the baby. She was 3 weeks away from delivering her baby girl. Losing a child is every woman's worst nightmare, I can't imagine and I don't understand why it happens. I had a very spiritual experience in getting pregnant this time around, I was prompted (for about a year) and I finally felt like I was ready, so I went off birth control and there was talk from the doctor that I would need Clomed to get pregnant, I just wanted to wait for a few months and see if we would get pregnant on our own, and sure enough the first month off, I was pregnant! I have been faced with some trials with this baby so far, and I'm getting through it all knowing that I was supposed to get pregnant, and the saying "Thy will be done" is constantly going through my thoughts. But I just don't understand why His will would be for a mother to lose her child. So I'm going to be done thinking about the why's and concentrate on the feelings that I've had, and just keep the faith that I know this baby will join our family, and pray that my friend can somehow find peace and be blessed with a child.

3 comments:

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder said...

I'd like to say something eloquent about God's grace and mercy and love, but words fail me right now. Just know that God can bring good from this situation and remember Romans 8:28 & 29.

You, your friend, and her sister-in-law are in my prayers.

Tiffany said...

I talked to my friend today and she said her SIL is doing A LOT better than anybody expected her to, that she has said that she felt like the baby was just supposed to bring the family closer together, and that she has peace over it. She is also talking of getting pregnant again, she extremely strong and courageous!

Derek-Jenny-Kaitlynd-Ethan-Dylan said...

WOW, that would be SO hard. I will keep their family in my prayers.