So I finally called the early intervention place in Tooele...... I wish I had called earlier, yes I'm hearing all the "I told you so's" in my head so don't rub it in, why do I wish I had called earlier? Matthew will have his 3rd birthday in 2 months and he will "out-grow" their program, so where should we go now? He will be tested on May 1st by the school district and if he qualifies for that program (which after talking to several people I feel that he will) he will be in the program for 3 years. I have mixed feelings, I want him to get help if its available, but it also makes me feel that I have failed him, that I should be trying harder to teach him. I may be too hard on myself but I do feel like its my fault that he doesn't know colors or ABC's, and that when he counts all he says is two, see, over and over.....I know I can't compare him to William, but I can compare myself to myself of when William was this age. Like I know when William was this age, we were singing songs and I would put on fun kids music and we would dance around the house, I haven't done that since Matthew was born. I would also read more books with Will than I am with Matty. I was pregnant with Matthew when William was this age..... I guess I can just do the best that I can and try to take more time to focus on Matty and what he needs to learn.... I will also try to do more of what I used to do....
7 comments:
I know exactly how you feel! But, don't attribute his speech delay (if that is what he is "diagnosed" with) to you. Some kids develop differently than others and they all have their "things" that they need to work on, whether it be behavioral, mental, verbal, or physical. These are things that can discourage us as parents, but we just have to do what we think is best for our own children. THERE IS NO PARENTING MANUAL for that very reason! If you want to further talk about this, please email me! Hang in there Tiff! (I still have to tell myself that too)
Tiff
Kids are so different. My three little ones have all developed at different times.
Try to focus on what he does do well. Social skills, friendly, focus (puzzles, ect.)! I am sure he is awesome and even advanced in some areas that they do not test for.
Keep putting things out there for him to explore. He will get it but it will be on his terms.
One thing that helped Ethan was Kaitlynd. She played school with him. She set up a little classroom and I bought her posters from the dollar store to teach from. It was great and it kept both of them busy. That is if Will is in to it.
Jenny
Girl!! All I can say is you are an amazing mom who cares SO much for her children and their wellbeing! Don't be hard on yourself! You are doing all the right things! You have two smart, handsome, healthy boys to show for it! Keep caring! That's what matters!
having william around to play with matthew and interact fills the need of the cute talking music, etc. for will when he was first learning! matty's big brother's conversation and play seems like it'd be even better than those other things.
Tiff - I'm sure Matthew will be able to get the help he needs in order to be successful... and really, it's good that you're catching it NOW, instead of waiting for him to get to kindergarten or something... don't beat yourself up over this (shoot, I have second graders that don't know letters, shapes, colors, etc!) Everything will work out in the end. Good luck with the upcoming tests.
You have not failed him in anyway girl. I know you know that really. It's been hard. I always say Zane is retarded,which is very unfair to people who really do have handicapped children. I have a 19 mo old that won't walk. But early intervention has been good for him and actually lots of fun. They will do amazing things for him and his self esteem and yours. Love you.
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