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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Being COMPLETLY honest....

I want, wait no, I NEED to lose 72 pounds, I joined Weight Watchers and I haven't done too hot, I'm down 1 pound, yeah that SUCKS, $40 for one pound, not cool Tiffany, NOT COOL! Especially where we are so strapped for cash. So I'm just going to be completely honest, and if anyone posts rude comments they will be deleted.  I have an addictive personality I inherited said addictive personality from both my parents, yeah thanks for the awesome genes, anyways, I'm totally addicted to food and I eat when I am stressed, sad, or discouraged.  Last night I was feeling discouraged and stressed so I made one of my "comfort" foods, chicken enchiladas, because its one thing I LOVE to eat and make and it taste dang good (to me, none of my boys seem to enjoy them like I do)!  I do what I can to cut calories like using fat free cream cheese and sour cream, so in my mind I can eat more of them, uh maybe but not 3 at once, yep, I ate THREE of them, one is a good serving size, probably more like a one and a half serving size, portion control is part of my problem too.....  Now another problem I have is that I rationalize everything in my head, such as "Well at least I don't look like I weigh over 200 pounds", or while at the gym, " At least I'm not as big as so and so", or "I can eat this because I go to the gym and I will be able to work it off", uhhhh when your husband works 12 hour shifts and has to take the car, you're probably not going to make it to the gym!!
So here I am at 206 pounds and a size 16/18, I have two pairs of size 16 pants I can wear and one pair of size 18 that fit me as well..... SO depressing, especially when I cleaned out my closet and I have so many CUTE pairs of size 12 pants, and lots of shirt options if I could wear a size Large or Medium, but XL or XXL shirts are all I can wear right now, I also have 3 darling size 10 skirts that I would LOVE to wear, this however does not motivate me, so what does??  Well the two times I've really lost weight was before I got married, and then again when I did Weight Watchers with one of my sisters-in-law and we were going to go visit our sister in law that lived in South Carolina at the time and I knew there would be lots of pictures to take and I wanted to look good...... But I want it to stick for good, I want a size 10 to be like what a size 16 is to me now, comfortable, and I can usually be safe to grab a size 16 off the rack and know that it will fit, well actually I bought some size 16 pants at the thrift store and they do NOT fit.... Anyways, does that make sense?  Now, I've been told to just start running again, running has never helped me lose weight, I think it makes me too hungry and I over-eat after I run, again I want to lose this weight so that I can run whenever I want and know that I'm not going to go home and stuff my face when I'm done.  So there you go I've put it all out there, now I'm going to go back to bed because I know that not sleeping well attributes to weight gain....

7 comments:

Sovic Clan said...

What about a motivating trip? We can all set goals of what we want to reach and give us a date to have it done by. Nothing too soon, but soon enough to get our buts in gear? I need to get my butt moving and could use some motivation. I bet Jen and Mindi would be willing to jump in! Lets make this happen:)

Kristina P. said...

WW works for me. I could be tons better at it. I always use my maximum points, and never exercise, but I have lost weight. I love the fact that I can still eat whatever I want, just less of it.

I have a MAJOR sweet tooth. WW actually has some awesome desserts, and there are the Breyers ice cream bars that are only about 2-3 points each.

It's hard.

Derek-Jenny-Kaitlynd-Ethan-Dylan said...

MAN....getting older (29 ish) sucks!

I know my mother in law lost tons of weight..eating Subway, and walking everywhere (and I mean everywhere).

I love you Tiff. Try not to be so hard on yourself and think positive.
((HUGS))

Just me and my girls said...

I am so for a trip. Lets say June (ish) swimsuit weather. That gives us plenty of time, but not so much that we or better yet I can not say oh I will start in a month and then it never happens. We can do something to help eachother along. Maybe some sort of contest or something!

Tiff, you are beautiful inside and out, but you need to feel good about your self. I love you and know you can do what ever you put your mind to!

Love ya girlie!

Kristy said...

HUGS! I soo know how you feel. My goal is to lose 30lbs and thats not even close to where I should be....but its a start...and I figure it will tell me a long time to achieve it. I am into week 2 of cutting back on cokes. Only have one every other day and most of the time I cant even finish it. Yay me...I eat when im bored, sad, happy..I just love food. I have that addictive gene passed down many generations. Thank goodness not passed because of something my parents have done..but grandparents and so forth. Stay strong, Im rooting for both of us.

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

::::Hugs:::::

I wouldn't think anyone would have negative comments for you. You've just allowed yourself to be very vulnerable and should be proud of yourself. It's hard to open up like this.

Give it time. You're training for a marathon. Plus, you're becoming aware of when you eat inappropriately and why you are. Awareness can be half the battle. Stay strong and don't give up.

The Peterson Family said...

Holy Moly Tif! I think you jumped inside my brain! Everything you said is totally me. I couldnt have said it any better. It seems I am always making excuses for myself and I am slowly running out of them. Bryn is now 6 months so I am running out of time for using that one as an excuse. It seems to me that WW is the best healthiest way to lose weight. I have never gone but my Mom has so she passes all her stuff on to me to help me out. It still doesnt work! I LUV FOOD!!! I also hear running is great but it is much harder for me to run with this extra weight. What's a busy Mom to do?!?! Try and stay positive Tif! You will achieve your goals. It may not be tomorrow but in time you will. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.